Gardening Archives - Page 81 of 82

Bzzzz April 19th, 2007

Did I get your attention? I thought I could use a gripping lead to entice you to read about…worms!

Most mornings (okay, SOME mornings), I lace up the old tennie pumps and head out for a walk. Mostly I just go up and down the driveway since the rural roads where we live have no shoulders could be hazardous.

The mornings after a rain, a lap takes twice as long as sunny days. That’s because I have to pick up all the rapidly-dehydrating worms and relocate them to the grass. Sure, I might stare straight ahead on the first lap, determined to keep going. But before long, I’m glancing down and start feeling horrid about just walking past these wriggling, suffering creatures. So I stoop down, gently pick up the worm and find a nice patch of wet grass and earth for him to recuperate.

The absolute WORST mornings for me are those when Harry has made it outside first. Sadly, this happens pretty frequently since he runs from 5 – 6 a.m. on weekdays and I am not that, shall we say, motivated. On those days, after a rain and when I head outdoors, I witness unspeakable devastation. Harry is a good person. But he runs without glancing down, not even thinking about what he’s doing. I can only hope that he misses some that I can rescue later. It’s ugly. Really ugly.

I can see some of you snickering now. (You know who you are. I know who you are.) But really, the whole motivation is as ancient as, well, Buddhism. There are Five Precepts (the basic code of ethics) in the Buddhist philosophy. The first precept of Buddhism is:

I undertake the precept to refrain from taking the life (killing) of living beings.

When you read Buddhist literature, you realize that most people interpret this as not just passively refraining from throttling your husband for leaving the kitchen all messy or your son for bringing home a stinking report card. Most extend this precept to an active practice of not doing any harm to any living being.

Are you following me here? The practice of picking up worms is an ethical practice that contributes to good karma.

This interest isn’t just because of my recent reading or the fact that worms are good for the garden. I have had a long interest in worms.

canoworms.frontal.lg.jpg A while back, I had this brainstorm that since I hate going out into the cold to dump our kitchen scraps into the compost bin, we could just use a worm composter. (It’s called vermicomposting and the setup is called a home vermiculture system.)

What a grand idea! I bought this nifty Can-o-Worms that I set up in the basement. I ordered worm bedding (I kid you not) and a couple pounds of extra special redworms. I lovingly prepared the composter exactly according to instructions, layering in damp newspaper. Then ho, ho, ho. I was ready to go!

You feed your worms many of the same types of things that could ordinarily go into a compost bin–peelings of vegetables, leaves of lettuce that are brown, etc.

So here’s the problem. Worms really don’t eat that much. Maybe…maybe a WHOLE BUNCH of worms could keep up with a single person who doesn’t eat a lot of fresh vegetables. But these worms could not keep up with our family of three.

Frankly, I hate to report this part. I’m not sure what ultimately happened. I don’t know if our worms were overwhelmed with the bounty that they had at their disposal. I don’t know if the fact that they arrived in a snowstorm and sat in the mailbox for two days had something to do with it. But the worms met…well…an early demise. It was a very sad day for me when I went to visit with the worms and found everyone sleeping. Wait. They weren’t sleeping, cause they wouldn’t wake up. They were DEAD!

Bad karma here for that, no doubt. I hope to make up for it by picking up worms after the rain.

Posted In: Gardening

Tags: composting, worm bin

Bzzzz April 16th, 2007

There are certain things about gardening that do not change, regardless of where you live, on what scale you garden or what you are growing.

I call them Robin’s Immutable Laws of Gardening…

I know you’re familiar with some of them, because you’ve likely bumped up against them regardless of your level of involvement with the great outdoors. These include:

Plants Die. Some die of old age. Some die of neglect. Some die of trauma. But eventually, all plants die.

Weeds are Inevitable. Weeds rate right up there with cockroaches in their superhuman powers to overcome all odds to succeed. Witness the fact that weeds have been seeing growing out of rocks, in the frozen tundra…anywhere.

Weather is Your Friend…and Your Enemy. The sun warms the earth and helps plants grow. Hurricane Katrina moves in and mows them down.

Critters Will Inevitably Invite Themselves to Dinner. Remember Peter Rabbit?

There are some other Immutable Laws that you may be less familiar with. Let me introduce you to Robin’s Immutable Laws.

Cats Think Newly Hoed Garden Beds Are Litter Boxes. You may never, ever, see a cat on your property. But if you spend a Saturday morning lovingly hoeing a square of earth, the earth somehow puts out a homing beacon that can only be heard by felines. And they come a calling with little presents.

There is a One-Third Chance that Garden and Landscape Contractors will Show up As Promised. Part II of this Law States: There is a one-third chance that those who DO show up will actually show up when they say they will. There is an equation for this and it looks like this:

1 x .333… x .333 = .111…

That means that there is only about an 11% chance that you’ll get done what you had planned to get done.

The Tool That You Absolutely Need Right Now Is Always In The Garage. Trust me on this. It is.

Despite What Fitness Experts Say. You Cannot Lose Weight by Gardening. Depending on what source you consult, the experts say you can burn a significant number of calories by doing lawn and garden work. My sources tell me I can burn 170 calories just riding around on the old John Deer mowing the lawn for an hour. In that time I can also burn 292 calories raking leaves in the fall. Or 306 calories weeding. I’m here to tell you that your body in no way recognizes the efforts as work and, therefore, does not allow fat to melt off your body. How do I know this as a fact? Well, think about this. I figure if I work about 10 hours in the summertime on any given weekend at an average of 300 calories, that would be 3,000 calories burned. Over the course of the summer, taking off a couple of weekends for vacations and slothfulness, that would amount to about 40,000 calories, which divided by the 3600 calories to make a pound equals more than 11 lbs. I can unequivocally state that I DO NOT LOSE 11 pounds over the course of a summer. Ergo, my law is true.

You Will Ruin Your Manicure. It doesn’t matter what hyper expensive brand of gloves you use, you will always look like a calloused farmhand if you even put a modicum of effort behind your gardening.

The Japanese Beetle Invasion Forces Invade On Or Around June 1, Depending On When You Are On Vacation. Do not, I repeat, do not fall for the myth that those unsightly little collection bags do any good. (This is a topic for another day.)

Just As the Lawn is Looking Truly Fine, the UPS Guy (or Fed Ex Guy) Backs Over It and Does a Wheelie. And do you REALLY want to make the guy who brings all your cool Internet shopping spree merchandise angry by yelling at him?

You Will Never…Ever…Be Finished. I’m tired just thinking about it all.

Posted In: Gardening, Lifestyle

Pole Dancing (Haha, not really)

Robin’s Immutable Laws of Gardening