Mom’s Misadventures

May 5th, 2007

Hi. Sophie here again. I thought I would drop a line before my mom gets on here and starts telling stories about flowers and birds again. She can be very boring that way.

Dad and Ben are off on a fishing vacation, but when they return I need to remember to warn Dad about leaving Mom alone like that. She talks to herself and gets into quite a lot of trouble.

For example, the other night just after dark she decided to bring in the birdfeeders for the night. She does that because she hasn’t yet put in a proper birdfeeder pole with baffle and the local raccoons have worn a path in the yard going to and fro to the birdfeeder buffet.

Well, she must have been in a hurry because instead of looking outside first she just marched to the tree and started grabbing at the feeders. Next thing I knew she was yelling “EEEEEEEeeeee” and running around in little circles in the yard. I’m guessing it was the two raccoons in the tree that surprised her.

Then just yesterday morning she wasn’t paying careful attention again. She was getting dressed and decided to wear the bluejeans that were left in the car from her change of clothes for a meeting the night before. She went outside in her underwear (she calls it lingerie) to get them. I tried to warn her that wasn’t necessarily a good idea at that moment, but she strolled right out there dressed like that anyway.

Sure enough, no sooner had she gotten all the way to her car when the FedEx guy Billy came barreling down the driveway in one of those quiet little minivans. By the time Mom noticed the company it was too late for her to dart back into the house undetected. So instead, she threw herself into the back seat floor of the car and hid there until the Billy drove off. She’s still not sure if Billy noticed that she was there or not.

Now, I fully expected her to be a little cranky about this development to her day, but instead she came in holding the opened FedEx envelope.

“Hot dog! Hot dog!” she shouted, even though I wasn’t the least bit warm.

Apparently, she was happy about the envelope that she said was a check from an “overdue” client. She immediately started talking about buying bushes, bird and garden books, binoculars and something called a digiscope (which I think is a fancy machine to look at birds) even though I already heard her and Dad talking about sending money to some distant uncle named Sam who never comes for dinner. I don’t think Dad would approve.

So just to show how much fun she can be, today Mom says she plans to dig a bunch of holes. In my opinion, she is very inconsistent on the issue of digging holes. I know for a fact that Sarah just recently tried to surprise Mom by digging a lovely deep hole in the spinach bed. Mom was not at all happy for the help and retaliated by giving Sarah a bath. She can be mean that way.

She also plans to go out to find more plants to put into the holes she’s digging. As you can see I already have a plan in mind so that I’m not left behind this time babysitting Sarah.

Don’t tell Dad about Mom’s misadventures. I’ll break it to him gently myself.

–Sophie

Posted In: Dogs and Cats, Flowers

Tags: Sophie

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