You have to admire the imagination–and wonder at the torrid love lives–of our Colonial ancestors. Their preoccupation with all-things-of-the-heart is revealed in the names they gave to their favorite garden plants.

Certainly, many plant names were descriptive, albeit colorful. Names such as Bear’s Ears, Bloodroot and Crowfoot.

But to others they gave heartbreaking names, such as Love Lies Bleeding and Love-in-the-Mist. What we know today as a pansy was then called Heart’s Ease.

Welcome%20Home%20Husband.jpgThis is one of my favorites (pictured). It’s called Welcome Home Husband No Matter How Drunk. Now, of course, we know this plant as Hens and Chickens.

These days, the naming of plants is in the hands of those corporate hybriders, so we get names for roses such as Strike-it-Rich Grandiflora Rose, Aromatherapy Hybrid Rose, Ronald Regan Hybrid Tea and Geraldine Ferraro Rose. Our new and improved tomatoes get names such as Health Kick Tomato and Tomato Taxi.

It’s almost worth dipping my toe into the hybrid scene so I can get to name some plants too. I think I could be quite good at it.

How about a Hysteria Wisteria? Or a Don’t Give Me No Lip Tulip? I think I would rather like some Get Your Fat Butt Off the Couch Potatoes!