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Bzzzz May 5th, 2007

Hi. Sophie here again. I thought I would drop a line before my mom gets on here and starts telling stories about flowers and birds again. She can be very boring that way.

Dad and Ben are off on a fishing vacation, but when they return I need to remember to warn Dad about leaving Mom alone like that. She talks to herself and gets into quite a lot of trouble.

For example, the other night just after dark she decided to bring in the birdfeeders for the night. She does that because she hasn’t yet put in a proper birdfeeder pole with baffle and the local raccoons have worn a path in the yard going to and fro to the birdfeeder buffet.

Well, she must have been in a hurry because instead of looking outside first she just marched to the tree and started grabbing at the feeders. Next thing I knew she was yelling “EEEEEEEeeeee” and running around in little circles in the yard. I’m guessing it was the two raccoons in the tree that surprised her.

Then just yesterday morning she wasn’t paying careful attention again. She was getting dressed and decided to wear the bluejeans that were left in the car from her change of clothes for a meeting the night before. She went outside in her underwear (she calls it lingerie) to get them. I tried to warn her that wasn’t necessarily a good idea at that moment, but she strolled right out there dressed like that anyway.

Sure enough, no sooner had she gotten all the way to her car when the FedEx guy Billy came barreling down the driveway in one of those quiet little minivans. By the time Mom noticed the company it was too late for her to dart back into the house undetected. So instead, she threw herself into the back seat floor of the car and hid there until the Billy drove off. She’s still not sure if Billy noticed that she was there or not.

Now, I fully expected her to be a little cranky about this development to her day, but instead she came in holding the opened FedEx envelope.

“Hot dog! Hot dog!” she shouted, even though I wasn’t the least bit warm.

Apparently, she was happy about the envelope that she said was a check from an “overdue” client. She immediately started talking about buying bushes, bird and garden books, binoculars and something called a digiscope (which I think is a fancy machine to look at birds) even though I already heard her and Dad talking about sending money to some distant uncle named Sam who never comes for dinner. I don’t think Dad would approve.

So just to show how much fun she can be, today Mom says she plans to dig a bunch of holes. In my opinion, she is very inconsistent on the issue of digging holes. I know for a fact that Sarah just recently tried to surprise Mom by digging a lovely deep hole in the spinach bed. Mom was not at all happy for the help and retaliated by giving Sarah a bath. She can be mean that way.

She also plans to go out to find more plants to put into the holes she’s digging. As you can see I already have a plan in mind so that I’m not left behind this time babysitting Sarah.

Don’t tell Dad about Mom’s misadventures. I’ll break it to him gently myself.

–Sophie

Posted In: Dogs and Cats, Flowers

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Bzzzz April 29th, 2007

Sophie gets a bath.JPG

Hi, Sophie here. My mom can’t write her blog today because she is exhausted. She said today was extremely trying and she deserves a break.

She woke up at 6 a.m. with good intentions to get Ben off to his basketball game and tidy up before heading off to a big plant sale held by the local garden club. She got out the door in time to be early to the sale, although she had to answer a lot of questions from Dad about why she was taking the big pickup truck instead of her regular car. She said something about bringing home a jungle and Dad just shook his head. He does that a lot when he talks with Mom.

I took a nice long nap with Sarah and Dad. Sarah snores.

Mom came home in the early afternoon, but she didn’t have a jungle and now SHE was shaking her head. She told Dad that she went to get some breakfast before going to the plant sale. Apparently listening to the radio without the truck running is a bad idea because she said it wouldn’t start again when she was ready to go to the plant sale. She thinks AAA is going to kick her out of the club because she calls them too much about the truck. She also said she had to wait a long time for the tow truck to help her get started again and also at the car shop while they replaced the battery.

When she finally got to the plant sale, almost everything was gone. I think this made Mom very sad that she wasted time eating when she could have been buying plants, especially when she thinks she is fat anyway.

She told Dad she consoled herself by going to the local nursery and buying bags and bags of what she calls “composed manure,” but that smell an awful lot like a farm to me. Eeeewww.

When she unloaded her stuff and started working, it was already well into the afternoon. After a while, Mom looked around and suddenly seemed to think it was Talk Like a Pirate Day because she kept yelling “Aaarrrrrgggghhh!” But then she suddenly sat down in the dirt and put her head in her hands and made little whimpering sounds like my sister Sarah does sometimes. Dad came to help and spent a lot of time shoveling dirt around. This seemed to make Mom a lot happier and she stopped sounding so much like a pirate.

Mom planted lots and lots and lots of things today, including almost all the little baby plants she has been fussing over in the house. She also set up the pretty fountain that makes waterfall noises. But then she ruined everything and gave both me and Sarah a bath, which I did not feel was necessary.

Now I am tired like my Mom. And I smell funny.

–Sophie

Posted In: Dogs and Cats, Gardening, Lifestyle

Mom’s Misadventures

My Mom’s Trying Day (By Sophie)