The Evil Bumblebee Approach to Weeds

I truly hate weeds. I don’t mean that I just dislike the sight of them. I mean, I think I’m starting to take it personally that they spring up to spoil my hard work. I’m not sure, but I think my blood pressure goes up when I see new weeds.

Now, that’s not to be interpreted as meaning that I don’t HAVE weeds because I am rabidly ferreting through my flower beds to pluck them out. It just means that I get a little steamed (okay, a lot steamed) when I see them.

I’m trying to be better about the “pick a few whenever you go out” approach. I mean, I go out a LOT since I have two little dogs with bladders the size of golf balls. So while I’m waiting for Sarah to get inspiration for her “business,” I’m stretching my hamstrings in a deep forward bend, breathing deeply and scratching through the dirt with my fingernails to get at the weed roots.

My manicure looks like crap.

I also have a new, slightly evil way of dealing with weeds, inspired by the whole over-the-top weed flamethrower contraption you can buy. I kid you not. You can buy a weeding tool that is attached to a propane tank that allows you to torch errant weeds with the push of a button. As you might imagine, my 16-year-old son thinks this is a grand idea and has volunteered to do weeding duty if I buy him one.

Hah. Not a chance.

I am taking a more medieval approach. I boil water while I’m working in the kitchen and then scamper outside with the teapot and POUR BOILING WATER ON THE WEEDS! It’s very satisfying, really, in an evil kind of way. It also ensures that you kill the roots so they won’t spring back up to annoy you again another day.

This works particularly well for cracks between pavers and for areas with those itty bitty tiny weeds that you can’t seem to scratch up, even if you throw caution about your manicure to the wind. Of course, I recommend that you are careful around the delicate roots of surrounding plants. But there are LOTS of places where this works just fine.

As proof, I offer some photographic examples of what happens with the boiling cauldron approach.

Another helpful, if evil, tip from the Bumblebee Blog. Now go have some mean fun.